Fearless Wonder

This weekend I had a chance to spend time with a lot of friends. Some were my closest friends, some were friends I used to be closer to, some were people I just like to have fun with. Some were people I wish I had more time to develop closer friendships with. In my mind heaven is heaven because you'd get to spend eternity developing friendships. They say that hell is other people...Well heaven can be other people too. I feel saddened to be expanding the distance between my friends and I. I am glad we are not moving so far away, but it will still be tough to keep the connections. Some friendships I am not worried about. I know they will always be close friendships. Other friendships had barely begun to blossom or were just being rekindled. It will be hard to keep these friendships growing. I feel sad for the times I didn't make the effort to call people or to get together. It seems you have all the time in the world until you don't. I feel sad that I am too reser...

Wow, this past Sabbath School class filled me up with thoughts and ideas. I alreayd wrote a few in my last post. Here is one more. Sometimes, instead of preaching/teaching "theology", I wish the pastors/sabbath school leaders would talk about how to make friends. I think making more than surface level friends is a skill most of us are lacking. We just hang out with family, schoolmates, coworkers...people whom it is easy to form relationships with. Meanwhile we meet people in less comfortable situations and think..."I really wish I could be friends with this person" but do nothing about it because we don't know where to start.

I have been having some interesting real life conversation with people about God, faith, humans and such. I enjoy these more than talking about hobbies, random trivia or gossiping. I wish more people felt comfortable talking about their spiritual beliefs (or lack there of) I feel frustrated by only getting to know people on the surface level. Sometimes lame goofy pointless conversation can be fun, but I also want to get to know people on a deeper level. A lot of people act like you are speaking Ancient Sumerian if you talk to them about anything deep. But I admit I am somtimes afraid of broaching deeper topics with others. I am a people pleaser and I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable. I think growing up in the church gives one an advantage in being about to speak about deeper things, because you grow up being used to it. Of course there are plenty of shallow people in the church too, but Sabbath School, camps, academy and other places give people the opportunity ...

Just finished listening to Ajahn Brahm again. I really like this guy. He sort of set my priorities straight. I have been pretty fixated on the wrong beliefs of Adventists lately. He really made me realize I need my beliefs to be focused on love, peace, compassion and wisdom and other beliefs (or in my case Anti-beliefs) need to take a second tier. He told a really good story involving a duck or possibly a chicken which explained it all. =) Listen yourself to hear the rest of the story.

The God of the Bible is like a parent of mentally and physically deformed child(SIN NATURE) , who leaves the child in a dirty mental asylum for orphans(EARTH AFTER THE FALL). He tells the child, "I love you but I am going to leave you here. I'll come again to get you when you are old, but only if you keep trusting me. Now you have to spread this Good News to all the other children because they are mine and I am coming to get them too." Except, the children he tells to spread the good news are so mentally ill they can barely feed themselves, let alone spread the Good News to the children God never bothered to speak to. While the children are in the asylum, God doesn't totally abandon them. He writes them letters. Letter that tell them how to live life in the interim. But the letters are sent by way of the Asylum director, who has to translate the letters because they are written in an ancient language that the children can't read. The letters are full of contr...

My Hubby recently introduced me to Speaking of Faith a radio program by American Public Media (yeah for Public Radio!) I really like the interviewer, Krista Tippett. A lot of interviewers tend to attack people of faith or ask really clueless questions (ala Terry Gross) or just touch on the hot button issues, but Krista asks questions that are more meaningful and allow the interviewee to really share from their experience. I have listened to The New Monastics and The Buddha in the World (Check out the humerous picture on the website) and both episodes are really good. Enjoy!

I haven't read the Bible for a while now. Now I know some people might say that is my downfall, that if I had just kept reading the Bible I would still be a faithful Christian now. I don't doubt it. I would probably still be a Christian in some sense of the word, more so than I am now anyways. But I wonder, would it just be because I continued to reinforce my childhood conditioning. This may seem unjust, but if I kept up the practices (prayer/Bible reading) and pushed aside doubt when it arose, couldn't I just be brainwashing myself day in and day out. I will probably pick up the Bible again. I do need to know what it has to say, but I need to see it with fresh eyes. I did take a lot of joy from the Bible once. I found so much that was hopeful, joyfull and wonderful. I also found much to torture myself with. I have always had a bit of a guilt complex, and really only since stepping away from the Bible have I gained some rational sense of my own guilt. I don't pl...