Fearless Wonder

Agnostic Thank you Good night

So you run into this problem if you step outside of Adventist/Christian circles. You discover people from all backgrounds who are really moral, kind, nice, giving, noble and in fact seem better than a lot of Adventists/Christians that you know. (I say Adventist/Christian because some Adventist tend to think of even other Christians as bit less holy) I do not intended to write about how we are just sooooo judgemental about those not like ourselves. Instead I want to look at the questions that the existence of good Non-Adventist/Non-Christian people raises in regards to the role of Jesus. So.... "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." So does my Muslim friend who embodies all of these qualities has the Holy Spirit? No? Some Christians would agree, others not so much. Lets say she is given the opportunity to accept Christ, and instead remains loyal to Islam?...

What I really wanted was a fight. That is one reason why I stopped writing this blog and why I locked it. I realized I was trying to pick a fight. I was hoping someone would challenge me with the same false arguments I have heard before, and that I would be able to rip them to pieces. I had a lot of bitterness towards the way I was brought up to believe. I wanted to win a fight with the people who still believed that way. Why? So I could feel better about myself. So I could feel right? Who knows. But as much as I honestly tried to explore my spiritual questions and ideas there was a part of me longing to pick a fight. I had a lot of good motives for this blog. It opened up really honest conversations between me and a lot of people. It gave me a chance to put down what I had been thinking. It let me know that even people with different views than me are still loving and interesting in learning and growing together, but still, some where in my heart, I had the fantasy of i...

I am not entirely happy with all the stanzas of this poem, I am not even going to include the last three stanzas in this post. If you want them you must dig up the 1999 issues of the Legacy.(SAU's poetry journal) JESUS IN A BOTTLE "Taste and see that the Lord is good!" Buy him in a six pack now Or place a little offering in the vending machine Push the little red button and WOW! Drink him up and drink him down Feel the Spiritual Caffeine You'll buzz with Jesus for an hour or so Get a rush from the Nazarene Talk to your pastor, talk to your priest They might be holding a sale Discount coupons given out Free Samples in the mail Some claim our soda is a fake That our sellers are not sainted They say Jesus Christ was crucified But never carbonated. The poem goes on from here, but not in a good way.

Here is the second poem in my series of religious/spiritual type poems...the bulk of this was written during some religion class in college. Come, we'll go and see the preacher Standing on the ocean shore See him back into the water Now we'll hear him nevermore See the bubble of his breathing from the waters underneath Hear the gurgle of his screaming as he sinks into the deep Shortly sharks will go to meet him Watch them move in for the kill Gentle jaws have gone to greet him Red and righteous blood to spill

For lack of a better idea I am going to start publishing some of the quasi religious poetry I have written in the past. Some of these pieces are several years old. Today's poem only works if you think about it actually being handwritten, which it was, sometime during college. I crucify self upon this page Wooden cross pulp the paper made I've driven pens through my hands For Ink To write red words and save my sinful poetry

Maybe things would have been different if my church schools had been more willing to address real spiritual questions, rather than trying to keep me and my classmates from sex, drugs and rock n roll. I wasn't really interested in drugs anyways, was to shy to get a boyfriend, and I liked Musicals! I remember one teacher asking us to write down the lyrics from our favorite song and bring it in. I thinking she was hoping to point out how ungodly our taste in Rock n Roll was. I must have confused her when I brought in the lyrics to "Don't cry for me Argentina" I don't recall any place were there was real opportunity to dialogue about doubt. Sabbath School was only for believers, so my doubts just festered in silence and grew. I still don't use drugs, I waited till marriage, and I like indie folk music. Chalk one up for Adventist Education. Oh wait, did I mention I am thinking of converting to Buddhism?