Fearless Wonder

I have had a lot of my mind and heart the last two weeks. So much that I kind of lost interest in understanding why people drink. (For the record I am still "non-alcoholic") A lot of troubling issues have come up recently, and I started getting a bit depressed. I practiced breathing, mindfulness and meditation. I opened the door of my heart to myself. I worked hard to think reasonably about the situations. These things helped to keep me from a downward spiral, from the kind of breakdowns I have had in the past, but still the sadness traveled with me. The Buddhists talk about breathing kind energy to the places that are hurting you. When I try and fight so hard against negative thinking it usually gets a lot worse. Instead of fighting and getting angry at myself for negative thoughts I practiced sending kindness to those bitter, worried, anxious, and negative parts of my brain. This helped a lot. But still the sadness traveled with me. And finally I realized it was alr

Thanks to all the the responses to my "Dogs become Street Stoics" entry. There are still a few people I am hoping to get a response from before I write a longer response post. In the meantime here are some questions for those who drink. People say drinking helps you relax in a social setting. Would it be possible to relax and be authentic with people without alcohol? If you had a close friend or family member who was an alcoholic would it change your drinking habits? How do you know if you have alcoholic leanings? Will you become an alcoholic shortly after you start drinking due to your biological make-up? For those Christian drinkers, did you start drinking because you found out the Bible doesn't say it's a sin? I know I was taught that it was one of the worst sins, but I know the Bible doesn't back this up. I'd love to hear all your answers. You can e-mail me or message me on myspace as some people have done, or comment directly on the blog.

I had a bizarre dream last night in which the phrase "Dogs become street stoics" appeared. Seems prophetic, no? Okay, so I really have no idea what that phrase means. I doubt it means much at all, just random brain twitching during sleep. Another part of my dream did have some events worth considering. Often the issues I am wrestling with, or have wrestled with appear in my dreams. I have dreams about high school insecurity, job fears, friendship and family issues. I still dream about massive fights with my mother even though we haven't really fought for several years. One common dream I was having was the "heaven/salvation" dream in which the end times were upon me and I managed to get saved. I was never "lost" in any of my end time dreams. It should be noted that I have a great deal of will power when it comes to dreaming. I rarely have nightmares, and when something bad does happen in my dreams I can usually work my way out of it. Often i