Fearless Wonder

For my Christian friends. What is unique about Jesus? What would following Jesus do that no other path can do?

"You yourself must strive. The Buddhas only point the way." I have been thinking about this lately. At times I have tried to use Buddhism in the same way I used Christianity. I was expecting a miracle without effort. I need to remember that this is a practice. You practice to improve. The other night I had insomnia and was listening to a Thich Nhat Han audiobook to relax. My husband came in an accidentally knocked into something. The insomnia brain instantly charged up again and the worry and anxiety started rolling. I also became incredibly angry. I was also a little mad at Thich Nhat Han. Grrrr! Why didn't his magical monk voice stop me from getting angry? Also, there have been a couple of times, after meditating where I have had panic attacks. Why didn't the magical meditations stop the panic attacks. Usually if I am calm before I meditate I don't have a panic attack afterwards, however sometimes I would experience anxiety and meditate to make it go

From the Buddhist perspective you ought to view harmful and irritating things as teachers. Thank you to my right wing teachers. You made me realize, as I became angry with you, that I do not want to be angry as you are. I need to return to the way of peace and meditation. Thank you

So apparently just because I think that there are good Muslim people in the world I therefore must also hate America. Also apparently I also learned that even though Jesus ate with prostitutes and tax collectors, eating with Muslims would just be asking to much. The things you learn when you talk to right wingers.

Do we miss our chance to be happy here because we are always wishing for heaven?

So I took the Belief-o-Matic quiz on BeliefNet and I have a 100% chance of being a Theravada Buddhist...99% chance of being a Mahyana Buddhist followed by a close third with Unitarian Universalist. Only a 41% chance of being an Adventist. and 21% chance of being a Jehovah's Witness I think....

Someone who I admire died recently, leaving behind a young family and a gaping hole in their community. This person helped me and many others even though they didn't have too. In some cases they were helping people because they were trying to fix wrongs that they did not commit, but had inherited. This person could have said, "That's not my problem. That happened before my time." but they didn't. They truly lived their beliefs in the best possible way. The funeral was the saddest I had ever been to, but at the same time I was inspired to live more fully. But the story isn't supposed to end this way. This was an Adventist funeral. The preacher spoke of "our hope in Jesus." This person who died and who I so admire had once sent me a CD to try and persuade me of Jesus and discourage my interest in Buddhism. I was and am truly grateful for their care for my soul. This story is supposed to end up with me coming back to Jesus as a testimony t

Do people believe because they are determined to do so?

Wait...this all means I am now one of those "godless liberals." Whoa! Hadn't thought about it in those terms before.

I miss the people at Buckhead, but it feels too weird to be at church when you don't believe anymore. Even our open minded Sunday night gathering is starting to feel weird to me. What is the solution?

(This is an essay I wrote for part of a Cultural Memoir Assignment) One former Adventist friend of mine always says, “It was the table that fed me” in referring to our shared Seventh-day Adventist background. My friend was referring to the morals, values and spirituality of Seventh-day Adventism that we still hold onto, even though we disagree with the Church in many ways. I, however, can’t help but think of feeding in the literal sense. Seventh-day Adventism did truely feed us, but in very unusual ways. Seventh-day Adventists have something they refer to as the “Health Message.” Just like the Mormons we have our very own prophet, only she was a woman and not a polygamist. Ellen White encouraged healthy living and vegetarianism in the Seventh-day Adventist church. In many ways this has been a blessing to the church. Adventists who follow the health message are some of the longest living folks in the nation. On the other hand it has brought a spirit of legalistic infighting ove

Agnostic Thank you Good night

So you run into this problem if you step outside of Adventist/Christian circles. You discover people from all backgrounds who are really moral, kind, nice, giving, noble and in fact seem better than a lot of Adventists/Christians that you know. (I say Adventist/Christian because some Adventist tend to think of even other Christians as bit less holy) I do not intended to write about how we are just sooooo judgemental about those not like ourselves. Instead I want to look at the questions that the existence of good Non-Adventist/Non-Christian people raises in regards to the role of Jesus. So.... "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." So does my Muslim friend who embodies all of these qualities has the Holy Spirit? No? Some Christians would agree, others not so much. Lets say she is given the opportunity to accept Christ, and instead remains loyal to Islam?

What I really wanted was a fight. That is one reason why I stopped writing this blog and why I locked it. I realized I was trying to pick a fight. I was hoping someone would challenge me with the same false arguments I have heard before, and that I would be able to rip them to pieces. I had a lot of bitterness towards the way I was brought up to believe. I wanted to win a fight with the people who still believed that way. Why? So I could feel better about myself. So I could feel right? Who knows. But as much as I honestly tried to explore my spiritual questions and ideas there was a part of me longing to pick a fight. I had a lot of good motives for this blog. It opened up really honest conversations between me and a lot of people. It gave me a chance to put down what I had been thinking. It let me know that even people with different views than me are still loving and interesting in learning and growing together, but still, some where in my heart, I had the fantasy of i

I am not entirely happy with all the stanzas of this poem, I am not even going to include the last three stanzas in this post. If you want them you must dig up the 1999 issues of the Legacy.(SAU's poetry journal) JESUS IN A BOTTLE "Taste and see that the Lord is good!" Buy him in a six pack now Or place a little offering in the vending machine Push the little red button and WOW! Drink him up and drink him down Feel the Spiritual Caffeine You'll buzz with Jesus for an hour or so Get a rush from the Nazarene Talk to your pastor, talk to your priest They might be holding a sale Discount coupons given out Free Samples in the mail Some claim our soda is a fake That our sellers are not sainted They say Jesus Christ was crucified But never carbonated. The poem goes on from here, but not in a good way.

Here is the second poem in my series of religious/spiritual type poems...the bulk of this was written during some religion class in college. Come, we'll go and see the preacher Standing on the ocean shore See him back into the water Now we'll hear him nevermore See the bubble of his breathing from the waters underneath Hear the gurgle of his screaming as he sinks into the deep Shortly sharks will go to meet him Watch them move in for the kill Gentle jaws have gone to greet him Red and righteous blood to spill

For lack of a better idea I am going to start publishing some of the quasi religious poetry I have written in the past. Some of these pieces are several years old. Today's poem only works if you think about it actually being handwritten, which it was, sometime during college. I crucify self upon this page Wooden cross pulp the paper made I've driven pens through my hands For Ink To write red words and save my sinful poetry