Revelations at 12:18

I made the mistake of drinking sweet tea. It doesn't have as strong an effect on me as most coffee does, but it's enough to keep me up thinking, which might or might now be a bad thing.

Here are some revelations, probably only for me,

It's okay to realize you are not doing all you can to love people. It encourages you to look for new ways to help. It keeps you from becoming self satisfied and lazy.

It is not okay to beat yourself up and make yourself miserable because you are not doing all you can for others. When Will and I were starting ESL we asked the woman introducing us if the amount we committed too would be enough. The lady said "How much is enough?" or "Can there ever be enough"... something like that. You have to be at peace with the fact that you can never do enough.

This is a tension I am learning to live with. Pushing myself to love more, while not hating myself for the little I do love.

It is also okay to realize you are not perfect. This is healthy. Knowing your imperfections is a step toward growth.

It is not okay to hate yourself for being imperfect. This prevents growth and leaves you paralyzed.

I better head to bed now. Starting to stop making sense.

Comments

El-Shaddai-dad said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
September 13, 2008 at 7:18 AM
Anonymous said…
Don't beat yourself up, just realize what you can do more to help people. It doesn't do anyone any good to beat yourself up, instead use that energy to do something positive for someone else.
September 13, 2008 at 3:40 PM
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