Fearless Wonder

Let today be the day.     you look at your anger and self-loathing,  your anxiety and depression, neurosis, obessions and compulsions.   Look at them and see them…not as demons,  but as the traumatized children they are.   Then tell them Thank-you.   In their own way they’ve tried to protect and nourish you, to soothe and motivate you.   They didn’t know how, but they tried.  So Thank-you If they are crying out to you now, tuck them in bed, kiss them on head and whisper… “Go to sleep, little ones. Mama’s got this. “ Then wake up in yourself the children of compassion.   These children who are kind, fierce, curious, sustaining and beautiful.      These sweet little ones need your attention now.  They’ve been weak and malnourished. You’ve always given so much to the children of trauma that you’ve had nothing left for these others.   So feed them now, kiss them and let them play....

So here goes my first Wordy Wednesday offering.   I am trying to write short stories for kids, but the habit of writing is hard for me.  When I sit down to write I want the skies to open, and a rainbow of inspiration to come.  Yeah, right.  Instead I get paralyzed when nothing brilliant immediately appears.  So, I am hoping by giving myself this Wordy Wednesday challenge, I can at least develop the habit of writing something, even if it doesn't amount to anything.   I still want to blog about spiritual and mental health issues, so I am hoping that will play into this as well.    Another challenge to writing is attention span.  (I literally just got distracted checking FB)  I've been meditating and doing yoga on a more regular basis, and that has helped me develop more sustainable emotional health.   It's also helped me to concentrate mindfully but my I still have a ways to go.    I know the internet is a big factor o...

One of the most important sayings of wisdom in our modern era is the phrase, "Haters gonna hate."  These three seemingly simple words have given me perspective over and over again in many tricky situations.  What others thought and felt about me was once a primary motivator in my life, and while I still struggle with this from time to time, it no longer rules me in the way it once did.   I used to think that if I could time my actions and responses just right I could make someone stop hating or judging me or make them happy and that would make me a good, love-worthy person. I have come to see that trying to make haters stop hating, and judges stop judging, and to make others happy is never about me trying to be a good person.  It's really me trying to practice mind control.  I want to change the thoughts of another person, to control their brain, as if I am some sort of mad sciencist from a bad B movie. Once I saw how ridiculous and impossible my little mind c...

When I left Christianity it had almost nothing to do with scientific theories or biblical scholarship (i.e. Bart Ehrman.)  I left because I found the Bible to be morally reprehensible and because I realized that I was not in fact a guilty sinner, just suffering from a lack of serotonin to the brain.  I admit I still have yet to read Ehrman, or Pagan Christianity or really any other fine tome that helped so many to break away from the Bible.  However I think science is just the bees knees.  I credit Brian Williams, my awesome grad school professor for waking me up to the joys of science.  Also seeing the joy in my students faces when we did experiments together really inspired me to dig deeper.  I discovered RadioLab on NPR and I'm currently in love with Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  (Though I first loved him before Cosmos, back when he was hosting NOVA Science Now.) Learning about how all life is interconnected, and our very atoms were birthed in the stars...

No ones likes unsolicited advice...So with that said, don't read my blog if you don't want to hear what I have to say.  I know there were times when I was dealing with anxiety, depression and a fragile emotional state, that you could give me all the good advice in the world and it wouldn't take.   However, if it wasn't for the wise words of people in my life, authors I've read, and speakers I've listened to, I would still be back in neurotic fun land.  So the following is my little contribution to the people in my life who are suffering.  Take from it what you will. 1.  Don't be afraid of your anxiety, or depression, or emotions, or phobias or whatever it is that plagues you.  Your neurosis like to keep you afraid so you won't do anything about them.  They like to pretend they are big terrible monsters with fearsome teeth.  They are really just whiney little babies who have never been loved.  The sooner you can see them for what they ar...

So despite being an "Ex-Christian" I am a person of faith. I have faith in myself.  I believe and live by the faith that I will grow as a human in love and compassion.  I have faith that I will recover from my mistakes and that I will allow my successes and failures to transform me into a better person. I have faith that others are capable of learning to grow, think, love and recover from their mistakes. I have faith that living in the present moment will put my worries and fears into the right perspective. I have faith that the seeds of love, kindness and compassion that I plant will grow. I am trying to live this faith out from day to day.  It's not a complex -ology held together by a web of correctly ordered texts.  It's a faith born out of hardship and experience, joy and love. My faith is about being true to myself and the people in my sphere of influence,  rather than being true to a god or a religious text.   I know many wonderful peopl...