What convicts you?

I've been on hiatus from deep thinking. It was becoming to much to handle. Even though I believe its impossible to be absolutely sure of anything, my Adventist mentality still tells me it's possible to have THE TRUTH. So my brain was rocketing back and forth between belief systems, trying to make something stick, but realizing that every belief system is full of flaws. A recent death in the family helped propel my need to stop thinking. It was getting to much to handle and I just had to let things be for awhile. I watched sappy Korean dramas and avoided spirituality. After awhile though, it turned from avoidance into good old depression.
Thankfully it was free from panic attacks and rabid self destructive hate. I just sort of didn't do anything for a few days.

Coming back to life now, but still unsure of anything. I guess it is going to have to be that way for awhile. Yet is still bothers me that so many people claim to know the TRUTH, know God, have the answers.

For me, if I decide to cling to a faith, it will be with no certainty. I will just be making a choice to cling, despite doubt.

My question for my readers is...What convicts you?
If you are not convicted, why do you follow your belief system. Why do you believe what you believe?

To tell the truth I am hoping someone will just state their reasons so clearly as to sweep away all my doubt. Wouldn't that be nice? But I know most of you have your areas of uncertainty too. But still I'd like to know why you believe what you do. How do you deal with your doubts. Whatever your belief system is, why do you keep it? Or if you are searching like me, how do you handle not knowing anything for sure?

If you want post here, or through myspace or e-mail that's fine. I look forward to your responses.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Ann, I'll try to come back to this later, but for now here's a quote that I posted on my blog a couple days ago that Jeffrey Overstreet put on his blog on Saturday, from Flannery O'Conner. It describes the kind of writer I like to read now:
"The Christian writer does not decide what would be good for the world and proceed to deliver it. Like a very doubtful Jacob, he confronts what stands in his path and wonders if he will come out of the struggle at all.”
January 22, 2008 at 9:45 PM
The Absent-minded Chemist said…
I really haven't felt convicted in a long time. I guess I am burned out on religion. I am going to a small group every Fri. night, kinda to get back into religion and such.
I suppose my lack of caring/conviction in regards to religion happened when Rashell did what she did...
It's not that I blame God--well at least not directly. Maybe I really do somewhere in my heart. I know I believe in Him and want to follow His teachings. But I don't seem to be putting forth the effort. One could argue that since I don't follow through with my beliefs, they are really not beliefs at all; instead my beliefs are what I really practice every day--which isn't always very christian.

I don't think you will ever find your panacea for religion. Nothing anyone tells you will be able to clear all doubts you have. Of course you know this...Doubt is actually healthy. It means one is capable of independent thought, and analyzing what is really going on.

Why do I follow my faux-belief system?
Probably because I am stubborn to change. I know this system/religion, and I don't want to go find something new. Another reason is that I do feel it is the right path (even if I don't agree with the precepts of the SDA church).

I am certainly not following blindly. I've become aware of several different things that bother me about religion in general. Things that are assumed, but not explained - possibly things that were explained to our grandparents, but they dropped the ball. Who knows. Right now I don't have any specific things to cite that fall in this category, but its just small things that come to my mind from time to time.


Anyway, I think I am rambling. Maybe something I said will click with you, maybe not. Maybe you have something to tell me that I need to hear.

In the meantime, I hope you and Will have a relaxing restful weekend.
January 25, 2008 at 11:27 PM
Ann said…
Stephen: Thanks for that quote, I had already seen it on your blog but I didn't apply it to my situation until now.

Josh: I really appreciate your response. You are right, I am not going to find a panacea, that is just wishful thinking. Flag me down if you are on-line again. I'd love to talk to you.
January 26, 2008 at 6:37 AM
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