Fearless Wonder

On June 15 I got a letter in the mail stating that my name had officially been removed from the membership rolls of the Seventh-Day Adventist church per my request. It was a nice form letter, very respectful of my choice, and I give the church kudos for it. So, just a few short days latter the General Conference of Seventh-Day Adventists rolled into my town, and so did many friends and family members, some from ages past. Of course I had to go to the GC. You don't often get the chance to catch up with so many people from various stages of your life. That part was wonderful. The exhibit hall was wonderful too, with lots of color and sound and pretty display booths, many which were promoting amazing things like health outreach, ministry to the poor (Go ADRA!!) and general "light unto the world" kind of stuff. I went to the first weekend's Sabbath service with a family member who was staying with us. The Sabbath School was fairly uplifting and it reminded us to re...

So I never finished that big post I was working on. It took on a life of it's own and got away from me. In the meantime, here is this thought to ponder... In my education courses we learn that GREAT teachers give their student strategies to help them engage in higher-level thinking, make connections and examine things critically. They help them to learn to be independent and intrinsically motivated. In other words they don't stand at the board lecturing their students for an hour, but rather create an environment where students can learn, explore, question and create. This progressive model of teaching needs to make its way into the church. I find that even in most progressive learning churches the emphasis is still on the song service and a sermon. I've already written about my issues with most modern church music, so let me just focus on the sermon. According to the best teaching pedagogy today, teachers should give a 10-15 minute INTERACTIVE mini-lesson and leave ...

I am still working on a rather long post right now, but in the meantime I think this poem bears reposting. Please Call Me By My True Names by Thich Nhat Hanh Don't say that I will depart tomorrow -- even today I am still arriving. Look deeply: every second I am arriving to be a bud on a Spring branch, to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings, learning to sing in my new nest, to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower, to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone. I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry, to fear and to hope. The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death of all that is alive. I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river. And I am the bird that swoops down to swallow the mayfly. I am the frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pond. And I am the grass-snake that silently feeds itself on the frog. I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, my legs as thin as bamboo sticks. And I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to Uganda. I am th...

For many years now I've felt that if I had children I would adopt. I need to finish grad school first and we need to move into a bigger place but if we can manage I think we will adopt. Today I took a look at some websites and ran a search to look at kids. I started tearing up almost immediately. I especially feel sad when I think about the kids that no one will adopt, like older children, minorities, disabled children and sets of siblings. As a teacher I know some the realities that come with raising children. I've been exposed to children with special needs and difficult backgrounds. Although I have many weaknesses as a human being I think this is something I could do. However I also think this is something many more people could do, but they are not willing to open their hearts or take the risk. If I don't end up living up to my ideals in a few years I think it will be a very sad thing. I wish more people would consider adoption. I hear a lot of people say tha...

For the record, still agnostic, but I might be a reverent agnostic. (ala AJ Jacobs) I went to two Easter services (a Saturday night easter vigil and a Sunday morning service.) They were both at Episcopal churches and I have to say, "Episcopals, I like your style." I know all the reasons Adventists reject such ceremony, but I have to say you loose some of the reverence when you take out the ceremony. (and substitute it with cheesy CCM and 70's style sanctuaries.) I've been thinking about joining a church again. I miss that feeling of being part of a larger community with potlucks, families, music (not CCM) all about me. The last "church" we were apart of was full of really good people and some forward thinking pastors, but it was the whole "Jesus is my Boyfriend" music that I couldn't get into. I feel like the old hymns leave room for some unknowing wonder in their lyrics. I've also noticed that a lot of liberal churches have traditional...

I just wrote a paper about my experiences with the refugee lady I tutored. I had to critically analyze her situation and mine and make comparisons. Then I realized I am in another situation I have not analyzed. That of the rich. Did you know that rich people get free stuff? I did not. I always thought they just had more money and that is why they had so much stuff. But no! My husband and I were two ordinary folks by American standards. My family is middle class and his wavered between middle,working and poor. Now the two of us find ourselves in Buckhead, Atlanta. Buckhead is one of the richest neighborhoods in Atlanta. My husband took a job at a good company and we moved into the lower tiers of a pricey condo. (We are renting a one-bedroom) While we ourselves are not rich, we live with some very rich people. Businesses around here want these rich people to spend their money at their stores and restaurants, so they give people in our condo free stuff to entice them. We we...

Music by Anne Porter (I first heard this Poem on the wonderful Writer's Almanac) When I was a child I once sat sobbing on the floor Beside my mother's piano As she played and sang For there was in her singing A shy yet solemn glory My smallness could not hold And when I was asked Why I was crying I had no words for it I only shook my head And went on crying Why is it that music At its most beautiful Opens a wound in us An ache a desolation Deep as a homesickness For some far-off And half-forgotten country I've never understood Why this is so Bur there's an ancient legend From the other side of the world That gives away the secret Of this mysterious sorrow For centuries on centuries We have been wandering But we were made for Paradise As deer for the forest And when music comes to us With its heavenly beauty It brings us desolation For when we hear it We half remember That lost native country We dimly remember the fields Their fragrant windswept clover The birdsongs in t...

A really wonderful person is dying of cancer. She is an awesome woman I met in Korea. She was SUPER energetic, loving, giving and made my experience there worthwhile. She was part of my women's Bible Study group THE HUNGRY TEAM (Named because we ate a lot together) After I left some missionary friends took over The Hungry Team from me and this lady was baptised. I took out some pictures I had of her today and cried. I am leaving the photos out so I don't forget to think of her daily. When someone is so far away and it has been so many years it is hard to always keep them in your thoughts. I hope to make contact with her again soon. She is to young to be facing this and has many people who love and depend on her. Part of me wants to draw some conclusion about this or make some connection between this and the Easter services I attended this weekend. For now though I will just let it be and focus on what I can do to strengthen and support this wonderful person during her...

I have become a neophyte science geek. When I started my journey away from Adventism I didn't realize I would become a nerd. Initially all my thinking was wrapped up around moral and spiritual questions. As I became more comfortable in my own semi-buddhist agnostic skin an unintended side-effect took place. I blame it on The March of the Penguins. I saw this movie with my Kindergarteners. Without my creationist goggles on I really started to marvel at how the penguins came to be. I researched penguins for quite awhile afterwards. Then I started researching amphibians for a thematic unit. I must have watched this video of the Surinam Toad over and over again. Sooo gross but soooo cool! Next I blame auto-tune. For some reason I was watching videos that had been auto-tuned and I came across this one with Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking. Funny but strangely moving. Then i started reading about the vastness of space and the galaxies and the big bang. Radio Lab has b...

I needed a break from my lesson planning so I decided to pick up my long neglected blog. First off to all the mothers out there I am not writing this as a criticism of you. I am sure you have settled these issues for yourselves, but I haven't. I have been told that couples who choose not to have children are selfish because they spend all their money, time etc on themselves where couples who have children give to their children. Honestly I feel that having a child is just as selfish as not having a child. Basically there are millions of unwanted children and suffering people in the world who we could be helping, but instead we choose to have children to add more love to our own lives. We do everything we can to give them every possible advantage and in doing so waste natural resources and contribute to the problem of global warming and pollution. Meanwhile we throw a few pennies here and there to a charity to ease our conscience. The children we raise repeat the cycle, either ...