I know the feeling stick man...I know the feeling. It's an irresistible urge to correct certain opinions that I strongly disagree with. The urge be to snarky in combating said opinions is especially tempting. Having seen many internet debates devolve into mudslinging and anger I've tried to refrain from engaging (or starting) internet debates. However, I think the real problem is their aren't a lot of safe spaces in our society for people of differing opinions to converse. The media gets people all hyped up into an us versus them frenzy (both sides are guilty of this). People get very protective of their opinions as well. Rather than recognize that we all have a lot to learn, we build up bulwarks of anger and self-righteousness to protect our opinions and then refuse to hear what anyone else has to say. Our opinions must be very fragile things indeed if they need so much protection. I like to refer to this phenomenon and invincible ignorance. The fact is that we are all ignorant regarding the true nature of things, but we are uncomfortable with uncertainty, so we do anything we can to protect ourselves from feeling uncertain. People also fail to understand what conviction is. They think they are convicted about something when in reality they are just high off their own hatred or self-righteousness. I think that true conviction comes from a) being fully informed about your view, and b)recognizing and fairly addressing all the arguments against it. I stopped blogging for awhile because I realized that I was blogging because I had an axe to grind. If I start again, I want to make this blog a safe place for people to express their opinions. I think it is importance that we learn from each other and important that we help each other tear down the walls of our invisible ignorance. I think it brings us closer together and closer to the truth.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Great goals, but it is going to hard to keep us ignorent people in line, special that one know as Pa.
Noah said…
Thank you for your post. It isn't wrong to have an axe to grind, its just what you do with the axe. Meaning I think you are on the right path to finding a way to express yourself by being mindful of both your own feelings and others feelings. -my 2 cents
Rob Mosher said…
Well put. It can be very hard to not correct people in an aggressive way, but I think it's important to keep in mind that the desire to correct can come from a desire to help. If someone was contemplating suicide, there would be few who called anyone who tried to change their mind narrow minded or hateful. If we can treat others as though they are telling us things out of good will, whether they are or not, it can help keep tempers down. And if we focus on that as our motivation, it will be a reminder not to correct out of selfishness because someone is making the country, or church, or family look bad. When our focus is on helping rather than just correcting or controlling it makes it easier to share things in a way that keeps people open, and still cares after rejection.

It can be challenging when the watchword of our society is "Accept me as I am." But I know the most important people in my life have accepted me as I was, but not left me that way.
Ann said…
@Rob. In the past I have spent a lot of emotional energy trying to "help" friends, or keep them from making what I viewed as terrible, life altering decisions. In the end all of these friends continued on the path they had chosen. In some cases the results are their choices were as bad as I felt, and in other cases they were making the right choice for themselves, only I couldn't see it from my perspective. Today I am still close to many of their same people. Was it because I tried to alter their lives, or what it because I was still there for them when things went wrong. I don't know. I know I went overboard at times with my emotional investment in the situation. Today I try and advice friends without letting myself get so terribly hurt, but I think the most important thing I've done is being a person people can turn to when things fall apart. People often are not ready to change until after they have seen the results of their choices. If they think you have already written them off then you won't be able to help them when they are ready.
Rob Mosher said…
That the encouraging thing. If our help, whether misguided or on point, comes from friendship most people are willing to give us the benefit of the doubt, even if only after some time has passed. For me it's important to remember this so I'm not so worried about being hurt, or pushing someone away that instead I choose indifference to their problems. Unfortunately getting hurt is often par for the course in caring enough to have close connections with people.

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